Relay for Life

Overnight on the weekend of the 13th and 14th of March all the Guilford siblings plus a few friends are doing the Relay for Life to raise money for the Cancer Council.  We thought this would be a great way to support an organisation who work hard to support people with cancer.

We would really appreciate any donation you are able to give us, big or small.
You can donate online at http://www.relayforlife.org.au/  Select Victoria, then scroll down until you get to Baw Baw Warragul, if you select that region you can find our team there-Team Phil.
If you can't donate online, you can give cash in person or send a cheque :)
Thankyou!

4 months??

I still miss Phil so much it hurts.  Alot of the time actually, though I don't know if people realise.  It's been 4 months, 1 week, and about 17 hours since Phil died, and sometimes I'm still not sure if I believe it.  It seems so unreal that someone who was so real and alive and loved life and people and God, and who I dearly love and spent nearly 18 years with, is just gone.  Not just as simple as here one day then gone the next.  Here one day and gone every single minute of every single day after that. 
melinda

Strange...

It's strange not having any new memories with and of Phil.  We used to get up to so many crazy things.  A lot of them were small things, but those are some of the most significant.  Phil trying to push me over when I stood on one leg (which I do surprisingly often).  Playing with the foil mum had put on the handle of a frying pan she was cooking in.  Discussing the latest great recipe find.  Playing board games with the family. 

I park my car beside out mandarin tree at home and it's got fruit on at the moment.  Phil's favourite thing to do at this time of year when we would drive somewhere, was to pick a few mandarins then throw them out the window of the car at random intervals whilst driving down the road.  I think we really scared a couple of drivers once or twice!
Melinda xx

Yesterday

Yesterday it was 3 months.  12 weeks exactly, it was even a Tuesday, which was the same day Phil died.  It's strange how quickly and slowly that time goes by.  He is very much missed.  When people talk about going and seeing Mel and Jen in Warragul it sounds so strange to me...cause they aren't going to see Phil as well any more.  Or when people ask how many siblings I have, I automatically say six...but if the questions get more detailed...like ages etc... I don't really know where to go next. Don't want to make some poor person feel really awkward or end up in tears during a simple ice breaker conversation. 

Mum and Dad are away till tomorrow having a holidays which is great.  I was away at coffee shop but haven't been well so have come home.  Mel and Jen have been manning the fort at home and are working summer jobs packing school books.

Kris x

Today last year....

Today, exactly one year ago, we went to the Carols rehearsal at the Myer Music Bowl.  I'm glad Mel took her camera, even though Phil was giving her a hard time about her size! (see photo 3).

....the goose is getting fat....

I caught up with a couple of different friends last week I hadn't seen since Phil died.  Both of them, who didn't personally know Phil, expressed in their own ways how sad they had been when they received word that Phil had died.  It was strangely very comforting to me to know that other people were sad too, like actually really sad.  Sad enough to go home from work.  I think it's hard to know what to do, people don't want to upset us, or make it seem that their pain is the same, but it was so nice to see someone else sad, (I think I had started to think I was making it up, or overreacting), because it is actually sad, whether someone knows Phil or not it is still sad that someone had to suffer like he did and that we don't have a little brother here with us anymore.

That aside, Christmas has practically arrived, our tree is up and some of the normal Christmas things are happening but the mood isn't quite the same.  Not sad as such, but not the busy, crazy, intense time that it usually is.  It's kinda like Christmas has taken a chill pill.

I made some photo books on my computer with pics of Phil for our family and they arrived in the mail yesterday so that's something nice.

Nothing else to say, other than the fact that a random hawaiian christmas carol that noone my age except me and my siblings would know is playing on the radio and Mel and I were singing along very loudly while writing this.

Love Kris

P.s. I finished the essay! Melinda is officially a nurse, starting work in Melb in April.  I'm doing a coffee shop (similiar to beach mission) at Wye River from after Christmas to start of January and then will be in QLD with Renay till start of college.  Everyone else will be having a bit of a quiet one.  Also...Jenny got an A in her grade 6 piano exam, an achievement!

gardening...

I'm back in Warragul now, with one last essay to go.  Everyone else is on holidays and my motivation levels aren't particularly high.   Anyway from my "study area" (the dining room table) I can see Dad picking raspberries in the back yard and it reminded me of this photo of Phil helping Dad with the gardening.

When I got home the other day Melinda and Dad had berry stains on their clothing.  Mum, Dad and Mel had all been picking berries together and Mel was reminiscing that she didn't have anyone to have berry fights with anymore (it was a memorable past time of her and phil's)....  seconds later she was hit by an overripe berry thrown by Dad and it was on. 

Kris x