Tuesday, October 27, 2009

4 weeks

Also known as one month. Already a month? Or only a month?
I wonder if it ever starts to make sense?
I'm almost finished my degree, and last week I found out where I got a job for next year. It made me cry. I just wanted to share it with Phil. He loved to tease me about being a nurse (among other things!). I knew he was proud of me though.
We got our doorbell fixed the other day. For about the last 15 years it has made a strangled once-musical noise. The story goes that someone came to fix it, said he'd come back with a part, and never returned. Phil didn't get to hear the new doorbell.
These things are strange. My phone will beep, and I'll remind myself it's not Phil asking when I'll be home. I can't go chill out with him, or tell him that funny story I know he'd love. So instead I just cry, and miss him a lot.


  1. To Mel (and the family):

    Does it ever start to make sense? At times, yeah, it does. At other times, you shake your fist to the heavens and wonder what God was thinking!

    I still struggle with my own losses. There are days you feel horrible because you've started moving on with life and it feels as though you've left someone behind, there are others where you feel guilty because you're not moving on with your life because that's not what they would have wanted.

    We live in the now, but there's a reality we know which is not yet. It's a weird tension, if you ever find any solutions, let me know. God bless.

    A brother and friend of Ben & Kris.


  2. To Mel (and the Guilford gang), thanks for sharing your thoughts Mel. Life is a constant tension but remember to hold firm to your faith, celebrate the times you shared with Phil and the memories you have. Congratulations on the work placement for next year. Continuing to pray for you all. God bless. Jenni Merriel